Pissed off

No picture this time because...because...I'm pretty salty right now and you don't want to see me upset. So I'll just go ahead and jump into it.


Today was fine starting out. I woke up late as usual for work and went in 2 minutes late as I always do on my 12 hour shifts. Twelve hour shifts are No Joke. I go in at 5:30 and leave at 7pm. The only thing that really makes it 12 hours is my lunch break which is an hour and a half long. So in reality I'm at work for 13 and a half hours :> Then I come home and do my online classes which take 2-4 hours. By that time its about 10-11pm before I have time to do anything. And if I have to get up early the next day, I'll be sleep by the time I'm done with school.


So with all that said, my mom comes in today and says "I told you to fix that chair yesterday and you didn't do it". It was a chair I assmebled for my little brothers that I put together wrong because I was totally drained from work when I came in. And the reason I didn't assemble it again last night is because I had to be at work at 5am. So she's fussing at me about how I can't do anything right and how sorry I've become. Well fuck that. Excuse my language but I'm pretty mad. 


I can't stand my mom. I never ever liked her even for one day I never liked anything about my mom ever. The fact that she gave birth to me even disgusts me and I would have rather of been adopted and I'm not even kidding. My father sits outside smoking all the time. He said he'd quit and bought an electronic cigarette to help him quit but he's back at it again. At this rate he's going to die within the next 10 years so I'm already kind of preparing for that. 


I may be the one kid that just cuts himself off from his family altogether. Like move away and don't call or anything. I know people like that and they live drama free lives. I've actually been considering it. I like my dad a lot but sometimes I wonder why he married this crazy woman. She needs medicine the way she talks to people. I'm saving up money still...slowly but surely I'll have my own place. No roomates or anything, just me by myself. Kevin Hart with it all day. I'll work, go to school, pay my bills, and do that until I graduate and succeed with a better job. The only thing stopping me is this $4500 I owe the University of Phoenix for taking 2 classes then leaving. I'll pay them soon but they want their payment in full which is just slowing me down. I also need a new car because the Jaguar is reaching it's limit. I can hear her dying a little bit everyday. 


It's Jasmine's birthday and her gift still hasn't arrived, ugh. Oh well she said she'd wait but still I'm a little salty about it. I get to see her tomorrow finally. My head hurts. I'm so confused. I don't even know what to do because so much needs to get done for me to get out of here. I need to get a new car, but I may need a co-signer because I don''t have a credit history. I need a new air matress which is like $200. At least so it'll hold me until I get a king size bed. I need to pay this debt to Phoenix. I need to convince Jasmine I can take care of her. I need to convince her parents I can take care of her. I need to kill this addiction to my computer as well. So much needs to be done and I've always procrastinated as to when to start this big change. Sigh. I need motivation...but where...