Angie. . .

 

I must write about this while it's still fresh on my mind. So I'm just going to jump into it. (Yes, I shaved my beard.)

I started working at Wakemed Hospital last May, and since then I've met a Nurses-Aide on the 6th floor whom I hardly knew. She worked only two days a week and goes to school during her free time. She flirted with me a lot and I flirted back, but eventually discovered that her name was Angie. Angie, whose age I did not know at the time but looked no older than 24, slowly became my motivation at work. She was pretty, in school, funny, and very easy to talk to. Months passed and since I hardly worked on the sixth floor I did not see her more than probably once or twice a month. Some months went by and I wouldn't see her at all. I missed her, but as time went by I ejected those feelings I had for her because it seemed like we would always be flirting and nothing more. It took me a lot of courage to ask her for her phone number one day too but she was around friends so she told me no :(.  A few months went by and my friend/co-worker Zane told me last week that Angie really wanted to see me.

I remember promising Angie that I would see her but as feelings faded I had totally forgot about the promise. I actually spent time searching for other women. Zane telling me that Angie wanted to see me actually made those feelings come back. So today was that day I went to see Angie again. Beautiful is an understatement and single....Ugh. Knowing me I'm not the most "Go get it" type of guys. I'm pretty nervous around someone I feel is totally out of my league and Angie is one of those types of women. 

I went to help out Zane, who works on Angie's floor all the time, just so I can see Angie. Every meal of the day I was there to see her, but I don't think she realized that until later on. Around dinner time I swallowed my soul to ask her if I can walk her to her car. She said yes (Omg YES!) but if you know me I just smiled and said "cool". You can tell when I really like someone because when I smile my dimples show like a mother fluxer and I can't stop smiling around that person for the life of me.  So she tells me she gets off at 7:08pm. I'm on her floor at 6:45 ready. I borrowed a toothbrush, mouthwash, everything homie! I was ready for this 5 minute walk to the car. So I start walking her and she immediately does one of those moves where we arm link. Smiling again I walk her to her car in this position. She tells me that her back is in a lot of pain and I feel around her back and ask where and she puts my hand right on/above her ass. (Oh my :x , but at the same time, No. I don't want Angie for her body although it is very nice).

We get to her car which is a 2001 Camry and in my mind I'm like "Phew! At least her car isn't better than mine." Haha.  So she hugs me and sits in her front seat for a while and the conversation went kind of like this:

Daryl: So...um...when is the next time you work?

Angie: Well I work Monday, Thursday, and Saturday this week.

Daryl: What? You told me you work every Friday and Saturday.

Angie: Well babe, this week is the only week that's different.

Daryl: Haha, alrighty then. Well I could come by on Monday.

Angie: Oh sure, we can have lunch together :)

Daryl: That sounds great, what time is your lunch?

Angie: Around 1:30-2:00pm. We only get 30 minutes for lunch.

Daryl: Alright, I'll have to come in early to work, but sure I can meet up with you around that time.

Angie: Aww, you don't have to come to work early for me.

Daryl: No, but I will :)

Daryl: Um....Angie....

Angie: Hm?

Daryl: Why do you only want to see me while I'm at work? I'd be glad to take you out sometime.

Angie: Well, um...you can email me...um...

Daryl: Hehe...aw never mind.

Angie: Daryl, you are a really handsome guy, and I like everything about you but we are too different, we don't have much in common.

Daryl: But Angie you don't even know me that w.........

Angie: And besides our age difference...

Daryl: Wha?! Angie how about how old are you?

Angie: Daryl, I'm 32.

Daryl: Well...Age isn't anything, but a number (give me a break, its the only thing I could think of)

Angie: Sigh, Daryl I wish I was a young girl then I would throw myself at you but I mean...I'm thinking about retirement and stuff...Are you thinking of retirement? *jokingly*

Daryl: No Haha...I mean well yeah sometimes...I save 10% of all my paychecks.

Angie: Hahaha. I mean I like you and we can talk...

Daryl: You don't want to call or anything? :(

Angie: Well I mean...I don't want to be with someone from work like..yeah, ya know?

Daryl: No, what do you mean?

Angie: I mean like what if we break up, and you come to my floor and things will be kind of awkward.

Daryl: I'm not the type to just hate you, even if we broke up which I don't think would happen, I'm always willing to be friends and being able to accept we can't be together...(That's a freakin lie. I'd be hurt the rest of the year and then some! I'd probably cry every day for months! LOL)

Angie: . . .

Daryl: Are you married, Angie?

Angie: Heh...nope. No ring on my finger...never has been. :)

Daryl: Oh.

Angie: Well...we can talk about all this Monday, Daryl. You're still on the clock.

Daryl: Haha okay....:( I mean we could do that. I'm not trying to rush you or anything.

Angie: Alright Daryl, see you on Monday :)

Daryl: See you then, Angie, good night :)

Angie: Night :)

Sigh, yes I remember the entire conversation. I won't lie, my intention was to get her phone number. And this is the 2nd time she denied me, but she's single....I don't know...I know she likes me it just seems like shes thinking about all the wrong things. Age, retirement, money, etc. I mean what about just having someone that actually loves you for who you are no matter how old they are...or their future plans...Man...what am I going to do. Every time I eject my feelings away from Angie I just cry. Should I go through that pain again or continue talking to her to see how things play out? I like to play it safe, I don't like taking risk but ugh...I don't know. I don't want to be heart broken again and that conversation really did break my heart although I did a great job hiding it from her. Maybe I was expecting to get too far in one night. . .man...I don't know what to do, but I don't want to let her go so easily. Yes it's crossed my mind that she is 32 making only probably $10 an hour, but she is trying to better herself. And at 32...she could have a very interesting past. I want to know all of that but...I don't know...will she give me the chance or just treat me as a young guy trying to target an older woman....I need some advice before I get myself hurt...I'm tired of the games though. Why is it so hard to find someone? Why does it take sooooo much courage for me to open up to someone then I'm constantly getting shut down? And why is my heart so fragile that it'll break over little things like this. . .Good night.